16 July 2009

Mustache + Egg = Huh?

Q: Do you support the statement, "Kissing a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt"? Please explain your answer.

A: If I were a U.S. Supreme Court Nominee in the midst of confirmation hearings, I would say that without further study of prior related cases and knowledge of state laws in which this incident occurred, I cannot answer the question.

However, no one has asked me if I'd like to be considered for the Supreme Court (their mistake). Here's your answer: This non sequitur was made in a specific cultural/historical context - apparently it was all the rage for men to have mustaches, and eggs were insignificant without salt. It would be like saying "Kissing a man without a pair of filthy clogs, a grey wool hat and a deltoid tattoo of the European recycling symbol is like eating tofu salad without organic capers." That would only really make sense in a few square miles of Portland, Oregon, USA, present day.

Personally, I like salt on egg dishes but I think mustaches are more frequently a mistake than a success (see prior post), so I do not support this statement. On the other hand, if Humpty Dumpty (pre-fall), had a mustache, was hard-boiled and I was very, very hungry, I might consider peeling him and making egg salad. With capers. And smoked paprika. And a lot of salt. Yum.

XO,
Ms.Chief

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you are a genius, and I wish you were on the Supreme Court.

Anonymous said...

Such a silly question, whether you support the analogy--man:egg, mustache:salt. It makes no sense. What if I want to take off my mustache before I kiss a man? And what does that have to do with being very hungry for an egg while out on a hike and finding you have no salt with you? Would you stare at the egg and die of hunger? Besides, why would one baffle a man by leaving on a perfectly removable mustache? Such a silly question, whether you support a ridiculous analogy.