Beard: Tip of the iceburg

I'm a really cool guy, but people don't realize it, and I wanted to look as cool as I feel deep down inside when I play Wii fencing every Saturday night. All the other guys in my town have full beards, so I decided to be different and grow a chin-only beard and trim it in the shape of a triangle. I think it looks great, but my mom said that when I tilt my head sideways I look like a one-legged lady naturalist. When I asked what she meant, she just laughed and went back to her banana and vodka breakfast smoothie. Mom's kind of crazy though - she's always lighting her cigarettes in the toaster. So honestly, do you think this beard makes me as cool as I can possibly be?

Dear Tiny Fencer,

Yes, your beard definitely makes you as cool as you can possibly be.

XO,
Ms.Chief