Dear Ms.Chief,The mailman just brought me a letter from 1985 asking that I return my outfit. Do I have to?
Love,
Desperately Seeking Identity
Dear Desperate,
Bundle up those acid washed skinny jeans in your giant metallic purse and go to the post office today, please. In order to further placate 1985 for stealing its pants and purse, you may want to throw in your cassette tape of the soundtrack to Goonies. You may keep the yellow shoes because they are sassy enough to transcend time.
XO,
Ms.Chief
P.S. Don't forget to incinerate your plaid resort-wear jacket that you "borrowed" from the deceased lady on the cruise ship. It smacks of mothballs and failed golf resorts in the Florida wetlands.
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