Birds, Bees & Buckskin

Dear Ms.Chief,
My awesome boyfriend bought us these buckskin outfits that we will always wear whenever we are together always. Forever, I mean. The problem is, I feel kind of torn up about it, because I am a political vegetarian since it's majorly wrong to take away an animal's skin and leave them standing there naked in the wild, all without skin and fur, because that's embarrassing for them in front of the other animals. My boyfriend says it's no big deal and I need to chill about it, because he got the buckskin outfits at Goodwill (we got the fleas out with clove cigarettes), and since they are second hand, that means the animals don't blame us personally for taking their skin. Is that true?
Peace out.

Dear Buckskin Betty,
I checked with my guru and mentor, Paul the Egg-laying Man Chicken, and he says that as long as you never think too hard about what happens when you take away an animal's skin, everything's going to be just fine.
XO,
Ms.Chief

Shear Perfection

Dear Readers:
This is the best ad for the best hair salon in Kauai that I have ever seen. I love this ad because the owner has a classic rock and roll haircut that speaks of moonlight, idealism, fragrant orange blossoms and perfection. Additionally, it is obvious that he confidently owns his mustache without hesitation.The ad copywriter did an exemplary job. We know that the salon owner has been cutting and styling hair for eight years in a small studio by himself. We can only assume that when he started cutting and styling eight years ago, his hair must have reached his ankles.

Rock on, Roy Strom.

XO,
Ms.Chief