Birds, Bees & Buckskin

Dear Ms.Chief,
My awesome boyfriend bought us these buckskin outfits that we will always wear whenever we are together always. Forever, I mean. The problem is, I feel kind of torn up about it, because I am a political vegetarian since it's majorly wrong to take away an animal's skin and leave them standing there naked in the wild, all without skin and fur, because that's embarrassing for them in front of the other animals. My boyfriend says it's no big deal and I need to chill about it, because he got the buckskin outfits at Goodwill (we got the fleas out with clove cigarettes), and since they are second hand, that means the animals don't blame us personally for taking their skin. Is that true?
Peace out.

Dear Buckskin Betty,
I checked with my guru and mentor, Paul the Egg-laying Man Chicken, and he says that as long as you never think too hard about what happens when you take away an animal's skin, everything's going to be just fine.
XO,
Ms.Chief

Passed out in public - what to wear?

Should you dress appropriately when you pass out drunk on your front yard, in case you’ll be photographed for Google maps?

Well, you should always dress appropriately, of course. Appropriate dress in anticipation of being photographed while passed out entails:

1. pants rather than a skirt (to avoid unintentional exposure)
2. dark colors (so grass stains or worse don’t show)
3. lace up shoes or zip-up boots instead of clogs or slides (so you don’t lose them)

The fellow pictured here is a passed out fashion success, including wisely using his arm as a drool catcher. Really, he is my role model in what to wear when drinking yourself into curbside oblivion.

XO,
Ms.Chief