03 August 2011

What's up, Portland?

I've done what I can to keep you looking decent. It's high time I focused my attention on what everyone in Portland is up to.

Follow me to the Left Coast version of Brooklyn where you'll find lower rents, more tattoos and the exact same number of ironic mustaches:  EveryoneInPortland.com

You're welcome.

XO,
MsChief

04 July 2011

Portland Blues Festival Stereotypes


1) Hipster youth in winter hats looking slightly unhappy

2) Guy in hiking boots & shorts duck dancing: knees bent, ass out

3) Drunk lady in flowery sundress & white sneakers who sings along & acts surprised when you tell her you came to hear the performers

4) Guy in Rock Revival jeans, cowboy hat & obscenely long goatee

5) Group of bikers wearing Sturgis t-shirts with horrible sunburns and teeth that rival British stereotypes

6) Lady w/ skin 40 years older than her LA-made spherical boobs w/ boyfriend wearing loafers sans socks

7) On the West Coast Swing dance floor, guy with an asymmetrical haircut and capri pants attempts to do Kevin Bacon's dance routine from Footloose, then falls down


8) Sour couple in huge straw hats sitting and reading the newspaper - during a great show by Robert Cray

11 February 2011

Just because Michael Jackson did it doesn't make it right

Here's a riddle: what is a cookie and also a verb and also a disaster?
Here's the answer: Oreoing

XO,
Ms.Chief

P.S. Thank you, friends in the Nerdosphere, for alerting me to this most excellent verb